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Yo mama's so fat and old that when God said "Let there be Light", he told her to move her fat ass out of the way.

Yo mama's so fat n black, she jumped in the ocean and they thought she was an oil spill.

Yo mama's so fat that she has TB... two bellies.

Yo mama's so fat, "Place Your Ad Here" is printed on each of her butt cheeks.

Yo mama's so fat, a picture of her fell off the wall!

Yo mama's so fat, after she got off the carousel, the horse limped for a week.

Yo mama's so fat, all of her clothes have to be custom made by a contractor.

Yo mama's so fat, all the chairs in her house have seat belts.

Yo mama's so fat, all the restaurants in town have signs that says: "Maximum Occupancy: 240 Patrons OR Yo Mama"

Yo mama's so fat, and her back is so crooked, when she lays down...people say "I didn't know we had mountains."

Yo mama's so fat, and you're so poor, when she comes in your house the tires pop.

Yo mama's so fat, at the zoo, the elephants started throwing her peanuts.

Yo mama's so fat, but I fucked her anyway.

Yo mama's so fat, Dr. Martens had to kill 3 cows just to make her a pair of shoes.

Yo mama's so fat, even God couldn't raise her spirits.

Yo mama's so fat, even her shadow has stretch marks.

Yo mama's so fat, even Richard Simmons laughs at her.

Yo mama's so fat, every time she wears high heels, she strikes oil.

Yo mama's so fat, God created her, and on the seventh day he rested.

Yo mama's so fat, her ass has it's own congressman.

Yo mama's so fat, her ass looks like two pigs fighting over a milk dud.

Yo mama's so fat, her belly button doesn't have lint, it has sweaters.

Yo mama's so fat, her belly jiggle is the first ever perpetual motion machine.

Yo mama's so fat, her belt size is the equator.

Yo mama's so fat, her blood type is Ragu.

Yo mama's so fat, her blood type is rocky-road.

Yo mama's so fat, her car is made of spandex.

Yo mama's so fat, her car is made out of spandex.

Yo mama's so fat, her cereal bowl came with a lifeguard.

Yo mama's so fat, her college graduation picture was an aerial.

Yo mama's so fat, her driver's license says "Picture continued on other side."

Yo mama's so fat, her favorite blouse is a tent.

Yo mama's so fat, her nickname is "Damn."

Yo mama's so fat, her picture takes two frames.

Yo mama's so fat, her skates went flat.

Yo mama's so fat, her tailor takes her measurements in light years.

Yo mama's so fat, her yearbook picture is an aerial.

Yo mama's so fat, I gain weight just by watching her eat.

Yo mama's so fat, I gotta take three steps back just to see all of her.

Yo mama's so fat, I had to roll over twice to get off of her.

Yo mama's so fat, I had to take a train and two busses just to get on her good side.

Yo mama's so fat, I ran around her twice and got lost.

Yo mama's so fat, I saw a picture of her in a magazine on page 4, 5, 6, 7, and 8.

Yo mama's so fat, I saw her in New York, and when I told my friend in LA, he'd seen her too.

Yo mama's so fat, I shot the bitch and Crisco came out.

Yo mama's so fat, if she got her shoes shined, she'd have to take his word for it!

Yo mama's so fat, if she wears fishnet stockings, they'd better be 50 pound test!

Yo mama's so fat, if she weighed five more pounds, she could get group insurance!

Yo mama's so fat, if she were an airplane, she'd be a jumbo jet.

Yo mama's so fat, instead of Levi's 501 jeans, she wears Levi's 1002's.

Yo mama's so fat, instead of wide leg jeans, she wears wide load.

Yo mama's so fat, I've got to tell two snaps just to cover her fat ass.

Yo mama's so fat, Jenny Craig did a credit check.

Yo mama's so fat, last time she went to Sea World Shamu got a hard on.

Yo mama's so fat, NASA is going to use her to fill the hole in the ozone layer.

Yo mama's so fat, NASA orbits satellites around her.

Yo mama's so fat, no one can talk behind her back.

Yo mama's so fat, on a scale of 1 to 10, she's a 747.

Yo mama's so fat, one day she was lifting up her rolls and a car fell out.

Yo mama's so fat, one day when she got in a fight the person fighting her got lost in her.

Yo mama's so fat, people jog around her for exercise.

Yo mama's so fat, she ain't on a diet, she's on a triet... She be like "What y'all eating? I'll try it!"

Yo mama's so fat, she broke her leg and gravy dripped out.

Yo mama's so fat, she bungee jumped and went straight to hell.

Yo mama's so fat, she can lay down and stand up and her height doesn't change.

Yo mama's so fat, she can't even jump to a conclusion.

Yo mama's so fat, she can't just work one corner, she has to work all four.

Yo mama's so fat, she can't lose weight, only find it.

Yo mama's so fat, she can't reach her back pocket.

Yo mama's so fat, she can't stay on a basketball court for three seconds without getting called for a key violation.

Yo mama's so fat, she can't tie her own shoes.

Yo mama's so fat, she can't wear Daisy Dukes. She has to wear Boss Hoggs.

Yo mama's so fat, she could go a week without eating and still not lose weight.

Yo mama's so fat, she could sell shade.

Yo mama's so fat, she DJ's for the ice cream truck.

Yo mama's so fat, she don't eat Wheat Thins, she eats Wheat Thicks.

Yo mama's so fat, she don't know whether she's walking or rolling.

Yo mama's so fat, she don't wear a G-String, she wears an A, B, C, D, E, F, G-String.

Yo mama's so fat, she eats biscuits like tic tacs.

Yo mama's so fat, she eats cereal out of a satellite dish.

Yo mama's so fat, she eats pumpkin pies like Skittles.

Yo mama's so fat, she fell in love and broke it.

Yo mama's so fat, she fell in the Grand Canyon and got stuck.

Yo mama's so fat, she fell off a boat and the captain yelled "Land Ho!"

Yo mama's so fat, she fills up the bath tub, and then she turns on the water.

Yo mama's so fat, she gets clothes in three sizes: extra large, jumbo, and oh-my-god-it's-coming-towards-us!

Yo mama's so fat, she gets her toenails painted at Earl Schieb's.

Yo mama's so fat, she gets runs in her jeans.

Yo mama's so fat, she goes to a restaurant, looks at the menu, and says "Okay."

Yo mama's so fat, she got hit by a truck and asked "Who threw that rock?"

Yo mama's so fat, she had to roll over 4 times just to get an even tan.

Yo mama's so fat, she has 48 midnight snacks.

Yo mama's so fat, she has a greater gravitational attraction than a black hole.

Yo mama's so fat, she has her own area code.

Yo mama's so fat, she has more nooks and crannies than a Thomas' English Muffin.

Yo mama's so fat, she has to buy two airline tickets.

Yo mama's so fat, she has to get out of the car to change gears.

Yo mama's so fat, she has to get out of the car to change the radio station.

Yo mama's so fat, she has to grease her hands to get into her pockets.

Yo mama's so fat, she has to iron her pants on the driveway.

Yo mama's so fat, she has to keep pesos in one pocket and yen in the other.

Yo mama's so fat, she has to pull down her pants to get into her pockets.

Yo mama's so fat, she has to put her belt on with a boomerang.

Yo mama's so fat, she has to use a lawn chair instead of a Thigh Master.

Yo mama's so fat, she has to use sleeping bags for tube socks.

Yo mama's so fat, she has two stomachs: One for meat, one for vegetables.

Yo mama's so fat, she jumped for joy and got stuck.

Yo mama's so fat, she jumped in the ocean and the ocean jumped back and said "I'll wait my turn."

Yo mama's so fat, she jumped in the ocean and the whales started singing "We are family!"

Yo mama's so fat, she jumped up in the air and got stuck.

Yo mama's so fat, she leaves stretch marks on the bathtub.

Yo mama's so fat, she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagen.

Yo mama's so fat, she looks like the Stay-Puff marshmallow man on steroids.

Yo mama's so fat, she made Richard Simmons cry.

Yo mama's so fat, she made weight watchers go blind.

Yo mama's so fat, she makes Big Bird look like a rubber duck.

Yo mama's so fat, she makes Free Willy look like a Tic-Tac.

Yo mama's so fat, she makes sumo wrestlers look anorexic.

Yo mama's so fat, she masturbates reading cookbooks.

Yo mama's so fat, she measures 36 24 36, and the other arm is just as big.

Yo mama's so fat, she needs a road map to find her ass.

Yo mama's so fat, she plays hopscotch like this: LA, Detroit, Seattle, NY.

Yo mama's so fat, she plays pool with the planets.

Yo mama's so fat, she pulls up a chair to an all-u-can-eat buffet.

Yo mama's so fat, she puts mayonnaise on aspirin.

Yo mama's so fat, she puts on her lipstick with a paint-roller.

Yo mama's so fat, she sat in Big Foot and made it a lowrider.

Yo mama's so fat, she sat on a dollar and made change.

Yo mama's so fat, she sat on a rowing machine and it sank.

Yo mama's so fat, she sat on an Oreo and unlocked the magic.

Yo mama's so fat, she sat on four quarters and made a dollar.

Yo mama's so fat, she sat on the corner and the police came & said "Break it up!"

Yo mama's so fat, she shops for clothes in the local tent shop.

Yo mama's so fat, she shows up on radar.

Yo mama's so fat, she smells like bacon at 90 degrees.

Yo mama's so fat, she stepped on a scale and she saw her phone number.

Yo mama's so fat, she stepped on a talking scale and it said "Please step out of the car."

Yo mama's so fat, she stepped on a talking scale and it told her "Sorry, we don't do livestock."

Yo mama's so fat, she stepped on a talking scale and it told her to "Get the fuck off."

Yo mama's so fat, she stood in front of the Hollywood sign and it just said H d.

Yo mama's so fat, she tried to get an all-over tan, and the sun burned out.

Yo mama's so fat, she uses a kiddie slide for a shoe horn.

Yo mama's so fat, she uses a mattress for a maxi-pad.

Yo mama's so fat, she uses a pillow case as a sock.

Yo mama's so fat, she uses blanket as a washcloth.

Yo mama's so fat, she uses diet soap.

Yo mama's so fat, she uses hula hoops to hold up her socks.

Yo mama's so fat, she uses the carpet as a blanket.

Yo mama's so fat, she wakes up in sections.

Yo mama's so fat, she was born with a silver shovel in her mouth.

Yo mama's so fat, she was floating in the ocean and Spain claimed her as a new world.

Yo mama's so fat, she was in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade... wearing ropes.

Yo mama's so fat, she wears a hula-hoop for a belly-button ring.

Yo mama's so fat, she wears a VCR for a beeper.

Yo mama's so fat, she wears a watch on each arm, one for each time zone.

Yo mama's so fat, she wears an asteroid belt.

Yo mama's so fat, she went on a light diet... As soon as it's light she starts eating.

Yo mama's so fat, she went on a seafood diet... Whenever she saw food she ate it.

Yo mama's so fat, she went to a Chinese Restaurant and ordered a 40oz. of gravy.

Yo mama's so fat, she went to sit down and the chair begged for mercy.

Yo mama's so fat, she went to Sizzler and got a group discount.

Yo mama's so fat, she went to the movies and sat next to everyone.

Yo mama's so fat, she's 36-24-36... but that's her forearm, neck, and thigh!

Yo mama's so fat, she's 36-24-36... but that's in feet.

Yo mama's so fat, she's got Amtrak tattooed on her leg.

Yo mama's so fat, she's got her own zip code.

Yo mama's so fat, she's got smaller fat women orbiting around her.

Yo mama's so fat, she's half Indian, half Irish, and half American.

Yo mama's so fat, she's moving the Earth out of its orbit.

Yo mama's so fat, she's not kidding when she says "I'm so hungry I could eat a horse!"

Yo mama's so fat, she's on both sides of the family.

Yo mama's so fat, she's taller lying down.

Yo mama's so fat, the animals at the zoo feed her.

Yo mama's so fat, the back of her neck looks like a pack of hot-dogs.

Yo mama's so fat, the body snatchers called home for backup.

Yo mama's so fat, the earth orbits around her instead of the sun.

Yo mama's so fat, the highway patrol made her wear a "Caution! Wide Turn" sign.

Yo mama's so fat, the horse on her Jordache jeans is real.

Yo mama's so fat, the horse on her Polo shirt is real.

Yo mama's so fat, the last time she saw 90210 she was on a scale.

Yo mama's so fat, the only thing she can fit into at the clothing store is the dressing rooms.

Yo mama's so fat, the only thing stopping her from going to Jenny Craig is the door.

Yo mama's so fat, the shadow of her ass weighs 50 pounds.

Yo mama's so fat, the telephone company gave her two area codes.

Yo mama's so fat, they call her "Big Fat Ho."

Yo mama's so fat, they changed my Physics book to say "What goes up must come down, except Yo mama."

Yo mama's so fat, they had to baptize her at Sea World.

Yo mama's so fat, they had to grease a door frame and hold a Twinkie on the other side to get her through.

Yo mama's so fat, they had to install speed bumps at the all-u-can-eat buffet.

Yo mama's so fat, they have to run a relay race to get her belt through her belt loops.

Yo mama's so fat, they use the elastic in her underwear for bungee jumping.

Yo mama's so fat, they used her for a trampoline at the Olympics.

Yo mama's so fat, we got her in the drive-in free by dressing her as a Chevy.

Yo mama's so fat, we're inside her right now.

Yo mama's so fat, when her beeper went off, people thought she was backing up.

Yo mama's so fat, when I climbed up on top of her, I burned my ass on the light bulb.

Yo mama's so fat, when I finished having sex with her and tried to roll off, I was still on her.

Yo mama's so fat, when I have sex with her I have to slap her ass and ride the wave in.

Yo mama's so fat, when I said I wanted "Pigs in a blanket" she got back in bed.

Yo mama's so fat, when I tried to drive around her, I ran out of gas.

Yo mama's so fat, when I tried to fuck her I didn't know if I was hitting the hole or a roll.

Yo mama's so fat, when I was done I rolled over, over again, and I was still on top of the bitch.

Yo mama's so fat, when I yell "Kool-Aid," she comes crashing through the wall.

Yo mama's so fat, when it says all-u-can-eat it still ain't enough.

Yo mama's so fat, when my dog went to fuck her he had to peel too many fat rolls and said "Fuck It."

Yo mama's so fat, when she auditioned for a part in "Indiana Jones," she got the part as the big rolling ball.

Yo mama's so fat, when she backs up she beeps.

Yo mama's so fat, when she bends over we go into daylight savings time.

Yo mama's so fat, when she brought her dress to the cleaners, they said "Sorry, we don't do curtains."

Yo mama's so fat, when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too.

Yo mama's so fat, when she comes down the stairs she measures on the Richter scale.

Yo mama's so fat, when she crosses the street, cars look out for her.

Yo mama's so fat, when she dances, she makes the band skip.

Yo mama's so fat, when she fart the whole planet came out.

Yo mama's so fat, when she fell down the stairs, she rocked herself asleep trying to get up again.

Yo mama's so fat, when she fills up the tub, she fills up the tub.

Yo mama's so fat, when she gets in an elevator, it HAS to go down.

Yo mama's so fat, when she gets on the scale it says "To be continued."

Yo mama's so fat, when she gets out of the car, she leaves stretch marks.

Yo mama's so fat, when she goes to a restaurant, she doesn't get a menu, she gets an estimate.

Yo mama's so fat, when she goes to a restaurant, she even orders "Thank You, Come Again."

Yo mama's so fat, when she goes to the beach, little kids yell "Free Willy, Free Willy."

Yo mama's so fat, when she goes to the circus she sees the big top and asks "Where can I try that on?"

Yo mama's so fat, when she goes to the circus she takes up all the rings.

Yo mama's so fat, when she got on the bus she turned it into a low rider.

Yo mama's so fat, when she hauls ass, she has friends come help.

Yo mama's so fat, when she hauls ass, she has to make two trips.

Yo mama's so fat, when she leaves the beach everybody shouts "The coast is clear."

Yo mama's so fat, when she opens the refrigerator, it says "I give up!"

Yo mama's so fat, when she ordered a "My Size Meal" at McDonald's they gave her a dinosaur.

Yo mama's so fat, when she ordered a "My Size Meal" at McDonald's they gave her the key to the store.

Yo mama's so fat, when she played hide-n-go-seek, she hid behind a water tower.

Yo mama's so fat, when she plays football she play offense and defense.

Yo mama's so fat, when she plays football she plays the interior line.

Yo mama's so fat, when she put on some BVD's by the time they reached her waist they spelled "BouleVarD."

Yo mama's so fat, when she ran away, they had to use all four sides of the milk carton.

Yo mama's so fat, when she runs she makes the CD player skip... at the radio station.

Yo mama's so fat, when she sat on a rainbow, Skittle's fell out.

Yo mama's so fat, when she saw a yellow bus going down the road she yelled "Hey! Stop that Twinkie."

Yo mama's so fat, when she sits around the house, she sits AROUND the house.

Yo mama's so fat, when she sits in a chair, the rolls on her legs, cover her feet like a blanket.

Yo mama's so fat, when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo.

Yo mama's so fat, when she stepped on a train track, the warning lights went on.

Yo mama's so fat, when she steps on a scale, it says "One at a time, please."

Yo mama's so fat, when she swims, she leaves stretch marks on the swimming pool.

Yo mama's so fat, when she takes a shower, her feet don't get wet.

Yo mama's so fat, when she tiptoes, everyone yells "Stampede!"

Yo mama's so fat, when she travels, she's gotta make two trips.

Yo mama's so fat, when she turns around, people throw her a welcome back party.

Yo mama's so fat, when she volunteered to clean cages at the zoo, people walked by and said "Look at the elephant!"

Yo mama's so fat, when she walks across the living room, the radio skips.

Yo mama's so fat, when she walks down the street everyone yells "Earthquake!"

Yo mama's so fat, when she walks down the street, you can hear her hips saying to each other "If you let me by, I'll let you pass."

Yo mama's so fat, when she walks in front of the T.V., you miss 5 minutes of your show.

Yo mama's so fat, when she was born, she didn't get a birth certificate, she got blue prints.

Yo mama's so fat, when she was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks.

Yo mama's so fat, when she was diagnosed with the flesh eating disease, the doctor gave her 5 years to live.

Yo mama's so fat, when she was walking in her jeans I swear I smelled something burning.

Yo mama's so fat, when she wears a purple sweater people call her "Barney."

Yo mama's so fat, when she wears a red dress people yell "Hey Kool-Aid Man."

Yo mama's so fat, when she wears a yellow raincoat, kids think its the school bus.

Yo mama's so fat, when she wears a yellow raincoat, people call her "Taxi!"

Yo mama's so fat, when she wears corduroy pants, the ridges don't show.

Yo mama's so fat, when she wears heels, they're flats by the afternoon.

Yo mama's so fat, when she went to a dating service, they matched her up with Detroit.

Yo mama's so fat, when she went to get a water bed, they put a blanket across Lake Michigan.

Yo mama's so fat, when she went to the beach Greenpeace tried to drag her ass back in the water.

Yo mama's so fat, when she went to the Rose Parade they thought she was a float.

Yo mama's so fat, when she wore a shirt with an AA on it, people thought it was American Airlines biggest jet.

Yo mama's so fat, when she works at the movie theater, she works as the screen.

Yo mama's so fat, when the cashier at KFC asked what size bucket she wanted, she said the one on the roof.

Yo mama's so fat, when the police showed her a picture of her feet, she couldn't identify them.

Yo mama's so fat, when yo father fell in love with her he got lost.

Yo mama's so fat, when your father mounts her, his ears pop.

Yo mama's so fat, Yo father didn't know whether to fuck her or take the burro ride down.

Yo mama's so fat, you can pinch an inch on her forehead.

Yo mama's so fat, you can smack it up, flip it, and rub it down all at the same time.

Yo mama's so fat, you can't even see her legs, it just looks like she's gliding across the floor.

Yo mama's so fat, you could go swimming in her bra.

Yo mama's so fat, your daddy had to roll her in flower and look for the wet spot.

Yo mama's so fat she stepped out into the middle of the road, I swerved around her and ran out of gas

Yo mama so fat when her beeper goes off, people thought she was backing up

Yo mama so fat her nickname is "Lardo"

Yo mama so fat she eats Wheat Thicks.

Yo mama so fat were in her right now

Yo mama so fat people jog around her for exercise

Yo mama so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone

Yo mama so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors

Yo mamma so fat you haveta roll over twice to get off her...

Yo mama so fat she was floating in the ocean and spain claimed her for then new world

Yo mama so fat she lay on the beach and people run around yelling Free Willy

Yo mama so fat when you get on top of her your ears pop!

Yo mama so fat when she has wants someone to shake her hand, she has to give directions!

Yo mama so fat she goes to a resturant, looks at the menu and says "okay!"

Yo mama so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat, people said "Taxi!"

Yo mama so fat she had to go to Sea World to get baptized

Yo mama so fat she got to iron her pants on the driveway

Yo mama so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller

Yo mama so fat she got to pull down her pants to get into her pockets

Yo mama so fat when she tripped over on 4th Ave, she landed on 12th

Yo mama so fat when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too

Yo mama so fat the highway patrol made her wear "Caution! Wide Turn"

Yo mama so fat when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND THE HOUSE!

Yo mama so fat when she steps on a scale, it read "one at a time, please"

Yo mama so fat when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo.

Yo mama so fat she fell in love and broke it.

Yo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued.

Yo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says we don't do livestock.

Yo mama so fat her neck looks like a pair of hot dogs!

Yo mama so fat she's got her own area code!

Yo mama so fat she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagon!

Yo mama so fat God couldn't light Earth until she moved!

Yo mama so fat NASA has to orbit a satellite around her!

Yo mama so fat whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in!

Yo mama so fat when she plays hopscotch, she goes New York, L.A., Chicago...

Yo mama so fat she's got Amtrak written on her leg.

Yo mama so fat even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction!

Yo mama so fat her legs is like spoiled milk - white & chunky!

Yo mama so fat I had to take a train and two buses just to get on the her good side!

Yo mama so fat she wakes up in sections!

Yo mama so fat when she goes to an amusement park, people try to ride HER!

Yo mama so fat she sat on a quarter and a booger shot out of george washington's nose.

Yo mama so fat she rolled over 4 quarters and it made a dollar!

Yo mama so fat when she lies on the beach no one else gets sun!

Yo mama so fat when she bunje jumps she goes straight to hell!

Yo mama so fat when she jumps up in the air she gets stuck!!!

Yo mama so fat she's got more Chins than a Hong Kong phone book!

Yo mama so fat that her senior pictures had to be arial views!

Yo mama so fat she's on both sides of the family!

Yo mama so fat everytime she walks in high heels, she strikes oil!

Yo mama so fat she fell and made the Grand Canyon!

Yo mama so fat she sat on the beach and Greenpeace threw her in!

Yo mama so fat even her clothes have stretch marks!

Yo mama so fat she has a wooden leg with a kickstand!

Yo mama so fat she has to use a VCR as a beeper!

Yo mama so fat she broke her leg, and gravy poured out!

Yo mama so fat when she rides in a hot air balloon, it looks like she's wearin tights!

Yo mama so fat she got hit by a parked car!

Yo mama so fat they have to grease the bath tub to get her out!

Yo mama so fat she has a run in her blue-jeans!

Yo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued.

Yo mama so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat people say "Taxi!"

Yo mama so fat she got to iron her pants on the driveway!

Yo mama so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller!

Yo mama so fat when she tripped over on 4th Ave she landed on 12th

Yo mama so fat when she bungee jumps she pulls down the bridge too

Yo mama so fat she steps on a scale & it goes one at a time please

Yo mama so fat she fell in love and broke it!

Yo mama so fat she jumped up in the air and got stuck!

Yo mama so fat she fell in love and broke it.

Yo mama so fat when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo.

Yo mama so fat they use the elastic in her underwear for bungee jumping

Yo mama so fat when they used her underwear elastic for bungee jumping, they hit the ground.

Yo mama so fat when she back up she beep.

Yo mama so fat she jumped up in the air and got stuck.

Yo mama so fat she has to buy two airline tickets.

Yo mama so fat when she fell over she rocked herself asleep trying to get up again.

Yo mama so fat she influences the tides.

Yo mama so fat that when I tried to drive around her I ran out of gas.

Yo mama so fat she broke her leg and gravy fell out.

Yo mama so fat the animals at the zoo feed her.

Yo mama so fat she was baptized at Marine World.

Yo mama so fat she's on both sides of the family!

Yo mama so fat when she dances at a concert the whole band skips.

Yo mama so fat the Aids quilt wouldn't cover her

Yo mama so fat she stands in two time zones.

Yo mama so fat I tried to drive around her and I ran out of gas.

Yo mama so fat she left the house in high heels and when she came back she had on flip flops.

Yo mama so fat shes on both sides of the family

Yo mama so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through

Yo mama so fat when she goes to an all you can eat buffet, they have to install speed bumps.

Yo mama so fat that she cant tie her own shoes.

Yo mama so fat sets off car alarms when she runs.

Yo mama so fat she cant reach her back pocket.

Yo mama so fat when she wears one of those X jackets, helicopters try to land on her back!

Yo mama so fat her college graduation picture was an airial.

Yo mama so fat she lays on the beach and greenpeace tried to push her back in the water

Yo mama so fat she broke her leg and gravy poured out

Yo mama so fat she uses redwoods to pick her teeth

Yo mama so fat the only pictures you have of her are satellite pictures

Yo mama so fat she jumped in the air and got stuck.

Yo mama so fat she put on some BVD's and by the time they reached her waist they spelled out boulevard.

Yo mama so fat she sat on a dollar and squeezed a booger out George Washington's nose.

Yo mama so fat she stepped on a rainbow and made Skittles.

Yo mama so fat she uses a mattress for a tampon.

Yo mama so fat that when she sits on the beach, Greenpeace shows up and tries to tow her back into the ocean.....

Yo mama so fat that she would have been in E.T., but when she rode the bike across the moon, she caused an eclipse.

Yo mama so fat she hoola-hooped the super bowl.

Yo mama so fat she was baptised in the ocean.

Yo mama so fat she has to iron her clothes in the driveway.

Yo mama so fat they tie a rope around her shoulders and drag her through a tunnel when they want to clean it.

Yo mama so fat when she got hit by a bus, she said, "Who threw that rock?"

Yo mama so fat when she stands in a left-turn lane it gives her the green arrow!

Yo mama so fat that when whe was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks.

Yo mama so fat we went to the drive-in and didn't have to pay because we dressed her as a Chevrolet.

Yo mama's so fat the equator is her belt

Yo mama's so fat the science museum used her as a model of the sun

when she step on the Weight Scales it says...'to be continued'...

she once went on a seafood diet...whenever she saw food she ate it!

folk exercise by jogging around her!

when she bends over, we enter Daylight Saving Time.

she sat on a Nintendo Gamecube and it turned into a gameboy

she make Kiko the Whale look like a Smartie

NASA plan to use her to shore up the hole in the Ozone layer

she was measured at 38-26-36 and that was just the left arm...

small objects orbit her.

she make olympic sumo wrestlers look anerixic.

when I tell her to haul ass, she gotta make two trips.

when she farted she launched herself into orbit.

she lost a game at Hide&Seek only cos I spotted her...behind Mount Everest.

when I had to swerve to avoid hitting her on the road I ran out of Petrol!

she could be the eighth continent.

she nearly put Safeway out of business

the only thing that's attracted to her is gravity.

her Uni graduation photo was an aerial

when she auditioned for a part in Raiders of the Lost Ark she got the part of the big Rolling Ball.

she make Jabba the Hutt look anorexic.

her fave food is seconds.

her belt size is Equator.

she eats Desert out of a Trash Can lid

she wears an 'X' jacket and Copters attempt to land on her

she shows up on radar.

she needs a map to find her butt.

she fell into the Grand Canyon....and got stuck!

she wears an asteroid belt.

her Passport photo says 'Picture is continued overleaf'

she has TB ... 2 bellys.

she's once, twice, three times a lady.

she was in the Daily Record last week on page 5, 6, 7, 8, and 9.

the circus use her as a trampoline

stunt agencies use her as an air mattress

when she opens the Fridge it says - 'I give up...'

she got a new gig at the Cinema...she works as the screen

she once told me 'I could eat a horse'...believe me, she wasn't kidding!

she deep fries her toothpaste.


Anything Yo's - So Fat...

Yo Grannie so damn fat, that if she was an Aeroplane, she'd be a Jumbo Jet.

Yo Grandpa so fat that he's half Scottish, half Irish and half American

Yo Wife so fat she fell off a boat and the Captain yelled, "Land Ahoy!!!"

Yo Priest so fat, when he bungee jumped he went straight to hell...

Yo Doctor so fat, that when her Beeper goes off folk think she's backing up.

Yo Auntie so fat when she goes to Gap the only thing she can fit into is the Dressing Room

Yo Bookie so fat he gotta buy clothes by the furlon

Yo Dentist so fat that when he burped he blew out all yo mamma's teeth...that why she so ugly!

Yo Papa's so large when you climb on top of him your ears pop.

Yo Father so fat that when he sat on a Rainbow skittles fell out.

Yo Sister so fat that even Richard Simmons can't help laughing

Yo Sis so Monstrous she uses Soccer balls for earrings.

Yo Father so fat he can't even tie his own shoelaces

Yo Mama so huge that God created her...and on the seventh day rested.

Your Kid Sister so fat the Japanese Sumo Wrestling squad had to turn her down.

Yo Star Trek fan so fat he make Riker's beer belly look 2 atoms thick

Yo Lawyer's so fat...we're inside her right now.

Yo' Baker so freakin fat he masturbates when reading cookbooks

Yo Auntie so fat that Weight Watchers threw her out for breaking the scales.

Yo Boss so fat that when she calls a board meeting she has to pull herself up a Sofa.

Yo Air hostess so fat that on a scale of 1 to 10 she a 747.

Your boyfriend so fat he hasn't seen his feet for 10 years

Yo Bro so fat that when he farted, Mars came out...and I ain't talkin bout the 'sweetie'

You Nana so fat that when she went for a swim in the ocean she caused a 60 foot tidal wave.

Yo Music teacher so freakin Fat that she whistles Bass

Yo Postman so fat he got his very own Post Code

You cousin so fat she's on Both sides of the family.

Yo Girlfriend so fat I ask her to go get a Curry and she bring back 80 pounds of gravy.

Yo kid brother so fat he sat on 4 quarters and made a dollar.

Your Mom so fat she uses a bed mattress for a maxipad

Yo wife so fat she got more nooks and Crannies than a Ploughman's pastry

Yo Sister so fat she got a new job DJ'ing for the Ice Cream Van.

Yo Momma so fat all chairs in the house have their own seatbelts.

Your Mommas so fat, when it says All you can eat it still ain't enough.

Yo' mama's so fat she plays pool with Venus....and Neptune...and pluto...and...

Yo momma's so fat, she makes Free Willy look like a tic tac

Yo momma's so fat; when she walked in front of the TV I missed 3 commercials

Yo momma's so fat, the last time she saw 90210 was on the scale

Yo momma's so fat, when she steps on the scale it says one at a time please

Yo momma's so fat, when she steps on the scale it says sorry we don't do livestock

Yo momma's so fat, when she goes to a restaurant she gets and estimate

Yo momma's so fat, at a restaurant when they give her the menu she replies “yes please"

Yo momma's so fat, when she went to the beach Greenpeace tried to drag her back in the water.

Yo momma's so fat, when she went to get a water bed; they put a blanket across Lake Michigan.

Yo momma's so fat, when she sat on a rainbow, Skittle's fell out.

Yo momma's so fat, when she tiptoes, everyone yells "Stampede!"

Yo momma's so fat; she makes sumo wrestlers look anorexic.

Yo momma's so fat, she makes Big Bird look like a rubber duck.

Yo momma's so fat, when she wore a shirt with an AA on it; people thought it was American Airlines biggest jet.

Yo momma's so fat, Dr. Martens had to kill 3 cows just to make her a pair of shoes.

Yo momma's so fat, when she goes to an all you can eat buffet, they have to install speed bumps.

Yo momma's so fat; she can't stay on a basketball court for three seconds without getting called for a key violation.

Yo momma's so fat, that she climbed Mt. Fuji with one step.

Yo momma's so fat; I had to take a train and two busses just to get on her good side.

Yo momma's so fat, when she hauls ass, she has to make two trips.

Yo momma's so fat; she's 36-24-36... But that's her forearm, neck, and thigh!

Yo momma's so fat, they had to grease a door frame and hold a Twinkie on the other side to get her through.

Yo momma's so fat, she can lay down and stand up and her height doesn't change.

Yo momma's so fat, the horse on her Polo shirt is real.

Yo momma's so fat, when she runs she makes the CD player skip... at the radio station.

Yo momma's so fat, her belly jiggle is the first ever perpetual motion machine.

Yo momma's so fat, all the restaurants in town have signs that say: "Maximum Occupancy: 240 Patrons OR Yo Momma"

Yo momma's so fat, when she ran away; they had to use all four sides of the milk carton.

Yo momma's so fat, instead of wide leg jeans, she wears wide load.

Yo momma's so fat, when she gets in an elevator, it has to go down.

Yo momma's so fat; when I said I wanted "Pigs in a blanket" she got back in bed.

Yo momma's so fat, when she was diagnosed with the flesh eating disease, the doctor gave her 5 years to live.

Yo momma's so fat; she was born with a silver shovel in her mouth.

Yo momma's so fat; she's got smaller fat women orbiting around her.

Yo momma's so fat, a picture of her fell off the wall!

Yo momma's so fat, her picture takes two frames.

Yo momma's so fat; her cereal bowl came with a lifeguard.

Yo momma's so fat, I had to roll her in flour and look for the wet spot.

Yo momma's so fat, I had to slap her thigh and ride the wave in!

Yo momma's so fat; I had to walk around her and got lost.

Yo momma's so fat, I took her to a dance and the band skipped.

Yo momma's so fat, I tried to drive around her and I ran out of gas.

Yo momma's so fat, McDonalds has to change their sign every time she eats.

Yo momma's so fat, NASA has a satellite orbiting around her!

Yo momma's so fat, after sex she smokes a turkey!

Yo momma's so fat; at the zoo the elephants started throwing her peanuts!

Yo momma's so fat, even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction!

Yo momma's so fat, even her clothes have stretch marks!

Yo momma's so fat; every time she walks in high heels she strikes oil!

Yo momma's so fat; her big toe got stuck in the catflap.

Yo momma's so fat, her blood type is Ragu!

Yo momma's so fat; her butt cheeks have different area codes.

Yo momma's so fat, her butt looks like 2 pigs fightin' over Milk duds.

Yo momma's so fat, her doctor's a grounds keeper.

Yo momma's so fat, her high school picture was an aerial photograph.

Yo momma's so fat, her legs is like spoiled milk - white and chunky!

Yo momma's so fat; her picture fell off the wall!

Yo momma's so fat; her tits are in two different time zones.

Yo momma's so fat; her toes bleed when she walks!

Yo momma's so fat, if she weighed 5 more pounds she'd get group insurance.

Yo momma's so fat, if she'd died you'd have to take her out in two trips.

Yo momma's so fat, it say on her driver's license Picture continued on back.

Yo momma's so fat; it takes a forklift to help her stand up.

Yo momma's so fat, it takes her two trips to haul ass!

Yo momma's so fat, light gets stuck near her.

Yo momma's so fat, mosquitoes see her and scream buffet!

Yo momma's so fat; people jog around her for exercise.

Yo momma's so fat; people use her dandruff as quilts.

Yo momma's so fat, sets off car alarms when she runs.

Yo momma's so fat, she broke her leg, and gravy poured out!

Yo momma's so fat; she can smell bacon frying in Canada!

Yo momma's so fat; she can use Mt. Everest for a dildo.

Yo momma's so fat; she can't reach her back pocket.

Yo momma's so fat, she don't have cellulite she's got cellu-heavy!

Yo momma's so fat, she eats Wheat Thicks.

Yo momma's so fat; she fell and made the Grand Canyon!

Yo momma's so fat; she fell in love and broke it!

Yo momma's so fat; she gets stuck in her dreams!

Yo momma's so fat; she got a run in her blue jeans.

Yo momma's so fat; she got her baby pictures taken by satellite.

Yo momma's so fat; she got hit by a parked car!

Yo momma's so fat, she got hit by a truck and asked Who threw that rock?

Yo momma's so fat; she got to pull down her pants to get into her pockets.

Yo momma's so fat; she had a run in her jeans!

Yo momma's so fat; she had her ears pierced by harpoon.

Yo momma's so fat; she had stretch marks when she was a virgin.

Yo momma's so fat; she had to get out of bed to roll over.

Yo momma's so fat; she had to go to Sea World to get baptized.

Yo momma's so fat; she has a part-time job as a trampoline!

Yo momma's so fat; she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors.

Yo momma's so fat; she has her own area code!

Yo momma's so fat; she has her own brand of jeans: FA - AatAss Jeans.

Yo momma's so fat, she has her own gravity.

Yo momma's so fat; she has more rolls than a Mary Jane truck.

Yo momma's so fat; she has shocks on her toilet seat.

Yo momma's so fat; she has to buy two airline tickets!

Yo momma's so fat; she has to go outside to put on deodorant.

Yo momma's so fat; she has to go outside to sit around the house.

Yo momma's so fat; she has to lay down to tie her shoe.

Yo momma's so fat; she has to use hoola-hoops to hold her socks up.

Yo momma's so fat; she hides her goiter with her chin.

Yo momma's so fat, she influences the tides.

Yo momma's so fat; she irons her clothes in the driveway!

Yo momma's so fat; she jumped for joy and got stuck.

Yo momma's so fat; she keeps her diaphragm in a pizza box.

Yo momma's so fat, she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagen!

Yo momma's so fat; she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller!

Yo momma's so fat; she rocked herself to sleep trying to get up.

Yo momma's so fat, she rolled over 4 quarters and it made a dollar!

Yo momma's so fat, she sat on the beach and Greenpeace threw her in!

Yo momma's so fat; she shaves her legs with a lawn mower.

Yo momma's so fat, she shows up on radar.

Yo momma's so fat; she stands in two time zones.

Yo momma's so fat; she stepped on a rainbow and made skid marks!

Yo momma's so fat, she steps on a scale and it goes one at a time please.

Yo momma's so fat; she takes baths in swimming pools.

Yo momma's so fat; she thinks Church’s Chicken’s a holy place.

Yo momma's so fat; she thinks a balanced meal is a ham in each hand.

Yo momma's so fat; she thought gravy was a beverage.

Yo momma's so fat; she uses a VCR as a beeper!

Yo momma's so fat; she uses a mattress as a maxi-pad.

Yo momma's so fat; she uses a mattress as a tampon.

Yo momma's so fat; she uses a pillow case as a sock.

Yo momma's so fat; she uses a satellite dish as a diaphragm.

Yo momma's so fat; she uses redwoods to pick her teeth.

Yo momma's so fat, she uses the freeway as a Slip n' Slide!

Yo momma's so fat, she wakes up in sections!

Yo momma's so fat, she was Miss Arizona -- class Battleship.

Yo momma's so fat; she was zoned for commercial development.

Yo momma's so fat; she wears a microwave for a beeper!

Yo momma's so fat; she wears two watches because she's in two time zones!

Yo momma's so fat; she went to the beach and sold shade!

Yo momma's so fat; she went to the movies and sat next to everyone!

Yo momma's so fat; she went to the salad bar and pulled up a chair.

Yo momma's so fat; she won Miss Bessie the Cow @YEAR@.

Yo momma's so fat; she's got Amtrak written on her leg.

Yo momma's so fat; she's got her own post code.

Yo momma's so fat; she's got her own zip code!

Yo momma's so fat; she's got more Chins than a Hong Kong phone book!

Yo momma's so fat; she's in two time zones at the same time!

Yo momma's so fat; she's on both sides of the family!

Yo momma's so fat; she's sits on coal and farts out a diamond.

Yo momma's so fat; she's works in the movies -- as the screen.

Yo momma's so fat; the Aids quilt wouldn't cover her.

Yo momma's so fat, the airline charges her round trip for each flight.

Yo momma's so fat, the animals at the zoo feed her.

Yo momma's so fat, the highway patrol made her wear Caution! Wide Turn.

Yo momma's so fat; they have to grease the bath tub to get her out!

Yo momma's so fat, they invented super extra strength ultra Slim Fast.

Yo momma's so fat; they mistake her for a country.

Yo momma's so fat, to her light food means under 4 Tons.

Yo momma's so fat; to lose a few pounds she takes off her girdle.

Yo momma's so fat, when I got on top of her my ears popped.

Yo momma's so fat, when a cop saw her he told her Hey you two break it up!

Yo momma's so fat, when her beeper goes off people think she's backing up.

Yo momma's so fat, when she bungee jumps she brings down the bridge too.

Yo momma's so fat, when she bungee jumps she goes straight down to hell.

Yo momma's so fat, when she dances at a concert the whole band skips.

Yo momma's so fat, when she falls it measures on the Richter scale!

Yo momma's so fat; when she fell in love she broke it!

Yo momma's so fat, when she gets on the scale it says to be continued.

Yo momma's so fat, when she goes to parties people scream Kool-Aid!

Yo momma's so fat, when she has sex she has to give directions!

Yo momma's so fat, when she has to haul ass it takes two trips!

Yo momma's so fat, when she lies on the beach no one else gets sun!

Yo momma's so fat, when she moons people they turn into Werewolves.

Yo momma's so fat, when she puts her foot down she clears rain forests.

Yo momma's so fat, when she sings, it's over!

Yo momma's so fat; when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo.

Yo momma's so fat, when she sweats everyone around her wears raincoats!

Yo momma's so fat, when she tripped over on 4th Ave she landed on 12th.

Yo momma's so fat, when she turns around it’s her birthday.

Yo momma's so fat; when she turns around they throw her a welcome-back party.

Yo momma's so fat; when she walks in high heels she strikes oil.

Yo momma's so fat; when she walks she leaves snail tracks....

Yo momma's so fat, when she wears her X jacket helicopters try to land.

Yo momma's so fat, when she wears red all the kids scream Kool-Aid!

Yo momma's so fat, when you get on top of her your ears pop!

Yo momma's so fat; when you put her in a Jacuzzi she makes her own gravy!

Yo momma's so fat, whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in!

Yo momma's so fat; you can slap her thighs and ride the waves in!

Yo momma's so fat, you can't tell if she is coming or going...

Yo momma's so fat; you couldn't tell where her boobs end and her arms begin.

Yo momma's so fat; you gotta slam her thigh and ride the wave...

Yo momma's so fat; you have to roll over twice to get off of her.

Yo momma's so fat, your family portrait has stretch marks.

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